To the Rescue!
by Eilidh17
Summary: From a prompt on the SG Drabbles list to have an OC save the day.  Season 7.  SG-1 'gate into trouble and find themselves split up and at the mercy of a new Goa'uld and her Jaffa.  Attempted humor and moments of utter lameness ahead.
1. Chapter 1

… To the Rescue

Just because he couldn't see the Jaffa patrol, didn't mean they weren't there. With only second-hand intel as a guide, Teal had taken point straight out of the 'gate and lead the team down a path-not-so-less-traveled and almost right into the arms of a waiting Goa'uld and her chain-mail gang. Pissant attitude at a possible incursion into her rather pathetic domain (think dead forest and a window-less hovel masquerading as a chalet), the nameless Goa'uld spat out a "Kree" to her minions and waved a bejeweled arm at an about-facing SG-1.

"Get to the 'gate!" Jack had hissed none-too-politely at Daniel and Sam, while his P90 tore the chest of the closest Jaffa open with a burst of well placed rounds. "I thought you said this world was safe!"

"I thought it was," Teal'c grumbled in return.

A staff blast zipped past Jack's ear and ripped a sizable chunk out of a nearby tree, sending splinters of bark raining down on them both. "Safe my ass. Fall back!"

~oOo~

Daniel smacked the DHD center crystal more out of frustration then because it actually worked. "I can't get the seventh chevron to lock!"

Jaffa strafing fire pocketed the ground around the 'gate and scored the dais black and grey. Sam crouched at Daniel's feet, one hand holding out her P90 in the direction of the oncoming Jaffa, the other working to free the crystal housing cover at the base of the DHD.

"Try it again," she ordered, grunting with exertion and being forced to cradle her weapon to free up her other hand. "Are you sure you've got the point of origin?"

"First thing I checked when we came through."

"If I could just…" The cover popped open and caught Daniel on the leg, but Sam didn't have time to apologize, not with the answer to their problem staring her in the face. "Crap! The control crystal has been removed."

"What?"

Sam slammed the panel closed and stood quickly, taking her weapon back up. "It's gone. Removed. If I had to make a guess, I'd say the Goa'uld took it to stop anyone dialling out."

"Why would she do that?"

"Not a clue and we don't have time to figure it out. Manual dial out?"

"Only if there's enough residual power left in the capacitors."

"Well, we won't know until we try."

~oOo~

The fallen tree Jack and Teal'c were sheltered behind was less of shield for the staff weapons fire being directed at them and more of an impending bonfire.

"I do not like this, O'Neill."

"Really?" Jack sniffed the ozone-heavy air and wrinkled his nose. "Kinda has that Napalm in the morning smell to it, don't you think?"

"I was not referring to the smell."

"Neither was I, but the crap is the same." Jack looked one way and then the other. "Right takes us back to Goa'uld-y-locks and left takes us to the 'gate. What's you fancy?"

"Was it not our intention to return to the Stargate?"

"Well, now you'd think so, but given the large patrol that passed by on our left flank, I'm guessing the 'gate is probably Jaffa central right now. I can only hope Carter and Daniel managed to dial out or at least duck for cover."

"Should we not attempt to assist them?"

"Yep, we need a diversion."

Teal'c patted his vest and pulled out a block of C4, earning himself a shit-eating grin from Jack.

"There's my not-so-little pyromaniac!" Jack waited for a lull in the strafing fire and chanced a look over the top of the battered remains of the tree. "Hmm… think you can shove that straight down their throats?"

Teal'c quirked an eyebrow in what Jack took as a look of confusion. "You wish them to eat the C4?"

"Sure!" Jack's smile faded along with his enthusiasm. "Okay… tossing it at them so we can make good our escape will do for now."

~oOo~

"Run!"

Daniel didn't need telling twice. They had only managed to get one symbol locked on the 'gate before the Jaffa patrol decided to break cover and storm the clearing. Diving through the ring, he and Sam rolled clear of the dais and sprinted away from the 'gate and in the opposite direction to Jack and Teal'c.

The Jaffa followed, keeping up a stead barrage of staff and zat fire.

"There!" Sam grabbed the back of Daniel's vest and lunged to her right, dragging him along with her. Up ahead there was a small path leading into the darkened forest. "Take the first shelter you can find and go to ground, got it?"

He got it all right. Seven years on this team had taught Daniel the virtues of duck and roll, go to ground and hide, and most importantly… don't piss off the snake-head if you can avoid it. He was still working on the latter.

The forest swallowed them up quickly, but not before a stray staff blast grazed Daniel's side and sent him tumbling headlong into the nearest tree. Grunting with surprise, he quickly found his feet and staggered off the path to land face down in a dense shrub, Sam crashing down beside him. She clamped her hand over his mouth and ordered silence with her eyes, holding that position as the Jaffa clumsily tore through the underbrush around them.

Sam tracked the patrol's path with her eyes, weapon snug in her shoulder, nodding when she was sure they were well out of range.

"You okay?" she whispered.

Daniel pulled his bloodstained hand away and held it out to her, meeting her concerned gaze with a frustrated sigh.

"I zigged when I should have zagged."

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

"You hear that?"

Teal'c nodded and then hand-signaled to a point beyond Jack's left shoulder. "A second patrol."

"Not the one's following us?"

"No."

"How can you tell?"

"These Jaffa are also armed with zat'ni'katel and are therefore members of the Goa'uld's personal guard."

"Are you going to hit me with some insane logic about zats versus staff weapons?"

"Do you wish to know?"

"Not really."

"Then acceptance of this patrol containing members of the personal guard will likely suffice for now."

"I like your thinking."

Teal'c cocked his head to the left and followed the treeline with his gaze. "I do not believe they are tracking us."

"Wrong direction?"

"Had they been aware of our location, they would not be discussing their punishment for failing to capture us."

"You can hear them talking?"

"Indeed."

Jack strained to listen but shook his head in mock disbelief. "I got nothing."

"Jaffa are blessed with enhanced hearing as well as superior strength."

"And the Tau'ri have weak bladders. I've gotta take a leak."

"I would advise you to 'hold it', O'Neill."

"Why is that?"

Teal'c flicked his earlobe and almost smiled.

~oOo~

"Think you can make it?"

Daniel bit back a groan and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No choice. Do we have a plan?"

Sam smiled tightly. "The 'gate is a no-go. Less for us being able to dial out and more because the Jaffa have probably got it guarded just because they think we might try again."

"Jack and Teal'c?"

"Hopefully, they're holed up somewhere within sight of the 'gate."

Temping though it was to send off a single click on his vest radio, Daniel knew it could also give away his teammates' location.

"So? Can't go backwards."

"No."

"Follow the Jaffa?"

"Actually, that might not be a bad idea. Have us track them for once. At least that way we'd be able to get an estimate of their exact numbers."

"Not to mention whether they've captured Jack and Teal'c."

"There's that. There's also a good possibility they'll wind their way back to the original path, in which case we can wait until they're out of sight and come up on the 'gate from a different direction."

"Hopefully Jack and Teal'c will find us before the Jaffa do."

"Well," Sam drawled, "we may have to risk a short burst of radio static to get their attention. If they've been captured then it's not a problem."

"And if they have, we could be giving their position away."

"Maybe, but there's a good chance the background noise of the forest will soak up the squawk."

"Worth a try."

"Not much of a plan, but it's the best I can come up with for now. What about you?" Sam pulled the field dressing she covered his wound with away and let out a low whistle. "Looks nasty."

"Feels nasty, but it was a glancing blow."

"True, but even glancing blows can get infected."

"All the more reason to get out of here while I can, don't you think?"

Wordlessly, Sam rose to her feet and held out a hand to help Daniel up. She gave him one final assessing look, frowning as his vest swung open to reveal her stellar patch job on his side, and pointed the barrel of her weapon in the direction the Jaffa had taken.

~oOo~

"I count nine. What about you?"

"Eleven."

"Really?"

"There are nine guarding the Stargate and another two have deployed themselves at the entrance to a path on the far side of the clearing."

Jack lifted his field glasses and zoomed in on the path. "Stealth Jaffa? Some sort of cloak of invisibility?"

"The cloak of invisibility is a fictional object, O'Neill. I am unsure as to why the Jaffa would possess such an item."

"It is? What?"

"Harry Potter possessed the cloak of invisibility, which he inherited from his father James Potter. I do not recall any Goa'uld adopting such imagined technology to render their forces invisible."

"This is Daniel's doing, isn't it? He's got you watching this crap just to annoy the heck out of me."

"He has not. Daniel Jackson was ascended at the time The Philosopher's Stone was released and has not availed himself of its wisdom."

"There is no wisdom in fiction."

"And yet you find The Simpsons to be acceptable viewing."

"That's different!"

"Eleven."

"What?"

Teal'c tipped his head in the direction of the Stargate and lifted his field glasses, giving Jack a cue to do the same. Two Jaffa exited from the darkened path and walked their way towards the 'gate; stopping to talk for a moment before one of them returned to the path.

"Well, I'll be…" Jack muttered, cursing under his breath.

"They used the dark of the forest to conceal their location. It would seem most likely that Daniel Jackson and Major Carter chose the path to escape before the patrol arrived."

"Too many Jaffa."

Teal'c cocked one eyebrow in inquire.

"One patrol here, another tromping their way through the forest, and then there's the one that attacked us. For an unknown Goa'uld hiding out on an equally unknown planet, that's quite a large force. Especially if she held back some Jaffa to guard her location."

"Unknown, yes, but perhaps not without means."

"Meaning?"

"She could very well be the daughter of one of the more minor System Lords."

"Like Klorel?"

"Yes."

"So, daddy has her hidden here to what? Protect her virtues?"

"More likely to protect his domain."

"Kids! You give them the shirt off your back and-"

"Down!" Teal pushed Jack forward onto his belly and fell down beside him, pulling his staff weapon in close to his chest. "Two Jaffa approach our position."

~oOo~

"Too easy," Daniel whispered harshly, clutching on to his side and leaning heavily against a nearby tree. They were hiding as best they could, among a grove of dense trees sheathed in indigenous vines and moss. The temperature was dropping fast as night approached.

"Maybe, but if they've got the 'gate covered then I guess they believe it's only a matter of time before we try to make a break for it."

"Assuming _they_ don't know that _we_ know the control crystal is gone."

"It's a fair bet." Sam flicked the cover off her watch and noted the time. "The SGC won't be checking in for at least another 14 hours."

Daniel let his chin dip to his chest, taking a moment to rest his eyes. "Now what?"

"Intel would be handy about now, but I think it's more important for you to get some rest." Sam unclipped her pack and let it fall to the ground, before rummaging through its contents for the first aid kit. "And I think I need to redress that wound."

"It's fine," Daniel said as his slid not-so-graciously down the tree to land on his butt, earning him a pointed stare from Sam, who waved a antiseptic wipe at him. With a resigned sigh, he muttered, "Is this where you tell me its not going to hurt?"

"Nope. This is where I remind you that screaming will give away our location to the closest Jaffa patrol. Here," she pulled out a bandanna and handed it to him, "bite on this while I work."

~oOo~

"Doc calls it my cruciate ligament, but that's about where the discussion ends. You know, she gets all technical and I tune out. I think the actual term is anterior cruciate ligament, or ACL, but, hey… what do I know."

A blow to his back with the pointy end of a staff weapon had Jack sprawling on the ground at the feet of the ugliest First Prime he had ever seen. He'd already had his feet swept out from under him with a swift kick to the back of his knee, which only added to his generally pissy mood.

"Okay," he said rolling onto his back and looking at the First Prime upside down, "I get the feeling we got off on the wrong foot here, so how about a compromise? You let us go and we promise, cross our hearts, not to tell your buddies where you are. Doable?"

"Silence!" The word was spoken with such force that Jack almost flinched as he rolled back over onto his stomach and tried to climb to his knees. To his left, and several feet away, Teal'c was on his knees with his arms pinned behind his back, held there by no less than four burly Jaffa. The furtive look and small shake of the head he gave Jack was enough to tell him that any chance of an escape was looking doubtful.

Jack focused his attention back on the First Prime with a broad smile that never quite made it to his eyes. "So, that would be a no?"

The Jaffa circled him predatorily before firmly clamping a hand on Jack's shoulder and muttering close to his ear, "My mistress is in need of fresh slaves. You will please her greatly."

"Now, see…" Jack started, searching the skies for divine intervention and finding none. "It's the whole 'pleasing her greatly' part that I'm a little concerned with."

"As well you should be, slave. The average lifespan of her chosen concubines is never more than a few days."

"Concubine?" Jack coughed. "Did I mention my bad knees? Seriously, I'm pretty much past the concubine used-by date. Just ask my last girlfriend."

A shove to his back and Jack found himself face-down on the ground and chewing on dirt. "I really don't think you mistress is going to want her merchandise all beat up, do you?"

"What my mistress wants is a slave who is breathing and can adequately fulfill her needs. She cares little for aesthetic looks."

"Doesn't own a mirror?" Jack regretted the words the very moment the pain-stick bored into his neck.

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Sam flicked the safety on her P90 and lined her sight up on the passing Jaffa patrol, sweeping the scope over each man in turn and zeroing in on their forehead tattoos. There were too many of them, and she knew without hesitation that she would be lucky to pick off the first few before the others returned fire or at least ducked for cover. Between her and Daniel, and not including their combat knives, they had barely enough fire-power to hold their location for a few minutes.

To her left, Daniel was seated awkwardly behind a large log, twisted so his good side would absorb any recoil from his weapon. He looked pale and sweaty, courtesy of the wound to his side. Sam tried not to concentrate on him, knowing full well that something had alerted the Jaffa to their location, especially since this was the squad that had chased them into the forest to begin with.

Daniel tossed a small pebble at her, landing on her knee and bouncing off to one side, just enough to catch her attention. He patted the side of his P90 and shrugged.

"Too many," Sam mouthed in a bare whisper. "We need to fall back."

The words had barely left her mouth when the patrol stopped and several of them turned in her direction, their staff weapons priming in unison.

"Kree!" the lead Jaffa bellowed, his gaze sweeping across where they had concealed themselves, but seeming unsure of their exact location. "We have captured your companions." He raised a hand and fanned it left to right; the rest of the patrol clearly understanding his command and moving into a flanking formation either side of Sam and Daniel.

There was no fall back, nowhere to go. The forest behind them was densely packed with tall, vine-woven trees and any attempt to push through them would reveal their position. Daniel took his cue from Sam and shouldered his P90, setting his aim on the closest Jaffa.

With an unspoken command, the patrol opened fire, blasting the trees behind and around them. Sam ducked, almost falling onto her back, when one blast snaked over her shoulder and lit up the ground behind her. Daniel moved to his knees with more ease than his injury should have allowed and sprayed a volley of rounds at the nearest Jaffa, swinging his weapon in a wide arc. Sam scrambled forward and joined him, but concentrated her fire on the lead warrior, who staggered backwards under her consistent and well aimed shots.

Still the staff blasts rained down all around them, tearing up their small grove of shelter until they were virtually exposed. The lead Jaffa, his armored vest slowly being stained with blood that oozed from the numerous bullet holes in his chest, hefted his staff weapon and aimed it squarely at Sam.

Her finger curled around the trigger and squeezed tightly, time slowing down enough to give her a clear impression of her actions, but not quite slow enough to recognize the vibrating tone of a set of Goa'uld rings as they swooped down over her and Daniel.

~oOo~

"Well, well, well. This has got to be my lucky day."

Daniel jerked away from the fingers patting insistently on his right cheek and closed his eyes to the pain radiating from his wound. He ached in more places than he could remember being hurt in and wanted nothing more than to ignore the voice calling to him.

"Come on, wake up, Doctor."

"Ngh…"

"And you call yourself a linguist? No, wait… oh yes… doctor of archaeology wasn't it? See, it's been a few years and I'm a little vague on the details."

Suddenly alert to the new voice vying for his attention, Daniel blinked into full awareness with a jerk, and scrambled for his weapon, only to find himself being restrained with a firm hand to his chest.

"Ah, ah! You don't really think I'd leave you armed, do you?"

"Who…?" Daniel stared up into the disfigured face, into piercing blue eyes that seemed to be both laughing at him and yet held a familiar callousness he was struggling to remember. "Boch?"

"Well done." Aris smiled smugly. "Glad to see you returned with some of your brain cells intact."

"Where?"

"Are you? Mumbling your way through a conversation is not quite how I remembered you, Doctor Jackson. Seems to me I couldn't shut you up last time we met."

Daniel closed his eyes and let the memories of SG-1's last encounter with the so-called legendary bounty hunter filter into his mind. He remembered the man's arrogance and smug countenance as he so effortless thwarted the team's every attempt at escape, as well as his inflated sense of self-importance.

Boch smiled down at him, baring just enough teeth to make Daniel feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Now, if I can just get the good major to wake up and tend to your injury, then we'll be on our way."

~oOo~

"Cliodna? Can you spell that for me?" Jack braced himself for a face slap that, surprisingly, never came. His new favorite Goa'uld stared down her bulbous nose at him, her foul breath wafting across his face with enough force that he had to swallow hard to avoid dropping his last meal on her shirt front.

"No, please… if you and I are going to… you know… then I'd at least like to get to know you better. You got a last name? Ma and Pa? House by a lake with fish?"

"Silence!" Cliodna twisted in her seat, her hand raised, and Jack waited yet again for another over-sized diamond to slice open his cheek. So far she'd been rather generous with her punishment; restricting her blows to the left side of his face, but the fury in her eyes told Jack she'd probably reached the end of her tether with him. Okay, that was fine. He thrust his jaw forward and met her solid gaze, almost daring her to follow through and strike him. Only she stopped with her hand in the air, and, after a beat of time, let it drop to her side.

"Slave, your impudence amuses me."

Jack merely shrugged. "It does? I was going for snarky, but I guess my act needs work."

Cliodna placed a hand on his shoulder and did a slow circle around him, dragging the hand across his bare chest, over his other shoulder and across his back, until she stood in front of him again, lips in a grotesque pucker.

"Understand this, my slave, I do not require you to be able to speak for me to enjoy your company. In fact, I would much prefer silence as I partake of your simple but pleasurable offerings."

"Lady, there's nothing simple about me, and if its procreating you're thinking of then let me tell you my offerings are a little long in the tooth. Just ask my doctor. She suggested saving a sample for a rainy day, but damn it to hell if I didn't take her advice."

Jack struggled against his bonds as Cliodna grabbed him roughly by the chin and tipped his head back with enough force that he was seeing stars. She held him in this position; his head craned at an unnatural angle, and brought her face close to his.

"Perhaps there is another way I can ensure your silence and cooperation? Jaffa!" She released his chin as two Jaffa struggled forward with Teal'c slung between him, ribbons of blood smeared across his chest and face. They dropped him to the ground at her feet, and she smiled down at him like he was a pet to be admired.

"Jaffa… Remove the shol'va's tongue."

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

"Any better?" Sam wound the last piece of crepe bandage around Daniel's chest and sat back to examine her handy work. "Best I could do given our limited supplies but the wound looks clean enough for now."

Daniel tried to hide his discomfort around a sympathetic smile as he tugged his black t-shirt down over the dressing. "It' fine, Sam, thanks."

"Yep, you're fine; the good doctor is fine, we're all fine! Now if it's okay with you two, I'd really like to get on with the rest of my mission." Boch strummed the weapon at his hip and cocked his head to one side, his growing impatience obvious by his stance. "Unless you two would rather be doing something else, in which case… I don't really give a damn."

Sam quickly packed up the small medkit and stowed it in her pack. "What are you doing here, Boch?"

"Here? In this place or just rescuing your sorry selves from becoming tomorrow's slaves at the hands of the delightful Cliodhna?"

"Wait!" Daniel looked up from trying to tuck his shirt in, ultimately deciding to leave it out. "You mean Cliodhna, the Irish goddess of love and beauty; mythical Queen of the Banshees Cliodhna?"

"Now how would I know that, not being a connoisseur of Tau'ri history? To me she's just another deadbeat Goa'uld with a daddy complex, and worth a sizable bounty if I can deliver her alive."

"Daddy complex?" Daniel questioned. "Rebellious or questionable?"

"How about dead? See, the very minor System Lord Aonghus wants his charming daughter handed to him alive so he can take some measure of delight in having her killed. Me? I'm just in it for the money and the pleasure of seeing one more snake-head bite the galactic dust. You two…" Bock waved a finger back and forth between Daniel and Sam, "… are just lucky I happened to come across you before Cliodhna's goons handed you over to her. She's known for her very generous sexual appetite." He winked at Sam. "And she's not gender-biased… if you get my drift."

Sam swallowed hard and whispered, "Oh, boy."

"Her father is Aonghus?" Daniel frowned, deep in thought. "In Earth mythology, he was the love child of Dagda and Boann, and later went onto become the God of Love. I don't recall there ever being a connection between he and Cliodhna, and certainly not a paternal one."

"Is everything so neatly ordered in your world, Doctor Jackson?" Aris stared hard at Daniel, face flat and emotionless; an expression Daniel had seen the man wear in their last encounter. "Should we just stop here while you sort out the System Lord pecking order and organize their mating schedules to suit your overly important planet's history?"

"Oh, if you wouldn't mind," Daniel said with an equal dose of sarcasm. "It's been a while since I was able to just stop and smell the history."

"Ah, guys?" Sam stepped neatly between them, hands out to the sides in a placating gesture. "I'd rather we concentrate on finding the colonel and Teal'c."

"O'Neill. Now there's a bounty I should have cashed in on while I had the opportunity."

"Really?" Daniel made a face. "Care to refresh my memory here; what exactly was Jack worth?"

"Put it this way, I wasn't banking on his sale to start my retirement fund on. You, on the other hand, could have bought my planet freedom from the Goa'uld if you hadn't gone and gotten yourself killed."

Daniel struggled to hold back his bewilderment. "Me? Who the hell would be interested in buying me?"

"Don't sell yourself short, Doctor Jackson. That day's rations I said you were worth? On my planet, a day's ration of Roshna for the entire population would be worth more than most System Lords could ever afford. Just my dumb luck that by the time the price went up and I was in a position to capture you, you go and irradiate yourself. Not your brightest idea."

"Yes, well when I start the day out with good intentions, I generally like to carry through with them."

"Enough with the small talk." Boch waved his weapon between them both. "I've got a Goa'uld to catch and you two, unfortunately, are along for the ride. While I'd rather lock you in the cargo hold while I go about my business, the gas I'm going to pump in there will be double the amount I used when I ringed you up."

"You gassed us?" Sam asked, wide-eyed.

"Not sure how you failed to notice, Major, or do you generally fall asleep every time you ring somewhere?"

"We were in a fire fight at the time. It's a bit hard to pay attention to what's going on above you when you don't actually know you're about to be ringed away."

"Ah, and I so missed your streak of self-importance. Make your choice: In the cargo hold or out. I don't care either way, but if you decide you want to ride in the front seat with the big people, don't think for a moment you'll be getting your supplies back." Aris walked towards the cargo bay doors and paused to look back over his shoulder. "Oh, and don't bother to try and overpower me. We both know how that went down last time."

~oOo~

"Wait!" Jack shouted out as the First Prime waved his dagger menacingly at Teal'c, his lips twisted into a sneer. "I'll shut up, I'll do whatever the hell you want, just… leave him alone!"

"Oh," Cliodhna purred through pouted lips. "A human slave showing compassion for a Jaffa. Could it be that you are already bonded?"

"Bonded? What… me and Teal'c… as in." Jack held up two crossed fingers. "You think we're…"

"Satisfaction can come in many forms, my slave, and this would not be the first time I have bedded two bonded males. In fact, the wanton lust and desire they share can itself be a source of great pleasure. Yes," she tossed her gaze back and forth between Jack and Teal'c and smiled. "I shall have you both tonight." A single clap of her hands and both men were hoisted to their knees.

"Whoa, wait! Can we at least talk about this? I didn't want to mention this in public, but I don't perform well with an audience. How about we stick with the original plan of just you and me, you know… leave Teal'c out of this?"

"Your performance is not to be questioned. You simply do not have a choice." Cliodhna raised her ribbon device-shrouded hand and turned it back and forth, letting the sun catch and reflect its light off the many faceted gems imbedded in its surface. "A most ingenious device. With very little effort at all I can greatly enhance not only your stamina, but also your-"

Jack felt his balls tighten up in response to her suggestion. "Yeah, yeah… I get the idea. You buzz me with that thing and my Viagra dependency becomes a distant memory. I don't suppose we could just go out on a first date, take the Al'kesh for a spin and meet your parents?"

~oOo~

"There!" Aris pointed to a lit up section on the HUD and smiled. "Pay day… if I can catch her."

"What exactly are we looking at?" Sam asked, leaning across the center console from the co-pilots chair and tried to get a better look at the screen.

"The compound you and your friends wandered blindly into first time. Nearly got yourselves killed without even putting up a fight. So much for Tau'ri cunning."

"The planet was supposed to be uninhabited," Daniel remarked dryly.

"And who told you that, the Tok'ra?"

"We have our sources."

"Yeah, but can you trust any of them? You know the Goa'uld can actually sense when they're in the presence of a Tok'ra?"

Sam blinked her surprise. "What? How?"

"Not so clever now are you, Major?" Aris returned a smug smile. "Most Jaffa carry larval Goa'uld simply because they're dependent upon them for their health; some genetic trait that's been bred into them. These symbiotes have very low brainwave patterns and once they reach maturity they are removed from the Jaffa and killed. Their only purpose is to keep the Jaffa fit and healthy while they're in service to the Goa'uld. Only First Primes and other higher caste Jaffa are given symbiotes who carry the complete genetic knowledge of their breed queen."

"So the Goa'uld are able to tell when another genetically perfect symbiote is close by? But how can they differentiate between Tok'ra and Goa'uld when all Tok'ra infiltrate into their ranks under the guise of being lesser Goa'uld?"

Aris shrugged. "Not a clue. You're the doctor, you work it out."

"Ah, we are cloaked, aren't we?" Daniel cut in, waving a hand at the HUD. "We're coming in rather fast."

"Relax, Doctor, they can't see us."

"See, no, but what about hear?"

Aris tapped a large green gem on the piloting console and smiled. "Noise dampening technology. I wouldn't be much of a bounty hunter if my prey could here me coming, now would I?"

Daniel cast him a side-long glance before turning back to the screen. "If you say so."

~oOo~

The blow, when it landed, struck Jack on the side of the head with enough force for him to black out for a few seconds. He knew it couldn't have been any longer than that because he was still kneeling beside Teal'c when awareness crept back in.

Not that he would have called Cliodhna's recent demeanor even remotely friendly by Goa'uld standards, but her whole body now seemed to vibrate fury, and Jack knew his attempts at stalling for time had just run out.

"That's a no?"

Cliodhna hissed, spraying a fine mist of spit and foul breath across his face. She grabbed Jack's chin roughly and with enough force that he was almost lifted to his feet, bringing his face up to hers.

"You only live because you have a purpose to serve, but know that my father is never to be mentioned in my presence again. I have killed even my most loyal Jaffa for less, and, while your death would disappoint me, you can be assured it would be a brief moment of loss. Very brief."

"Gotcha," Jack said through crushed lips. "No daddy talk on the first date."

"O'Neill!"

Jack struggled to turn his head, but Cliodhna held him firm. "Ah, kinda busy here, T."

"Is not baiting best left for Major Carter and Daniel Jackson?"

What the hell? "Heck, they can take over any time they want!"

"Indeed."

All very cryptic, and Jack had no idea what Teal'c was going on about. Cliodhna loosened her grip on his chin, allowing Jack to slump back down onto his knees. She stood over him, a sly smile on her face that worked its way straight to her flashing eyes, as she raised her hand device and lowered it towards his groin.

"Oy…"

The glow from the device as it swept towards him was suddenly drowned out by something brighter; something Cliodhna had obviously recognized a split second before he did from the scream that tore from her mouth.

"No!"

~oOo~

"Now!" Sam called to Daniel, who quickly punched in the code that activated the rings. From behind the closed cargo bay doors he could hear the tell-tail sound of the floor opening and metal on metal grind of the rings activating as they sped downwards to their target.

Aris had released a sedative gas into the hold a few minutes earlier, giving it enough circulating time to be sure of its effectiveness.

The rings returned swiftly, dumping whatever they'd claimed ceremoniously onto the deck. Daniel could vaguely hear a woman's anguished cry before it was suddenly silenced.

"How long?" He said, easing himself away from the wall and limping over to Boch.

"I left you two in there at half the strength for a good ten minutes before I was sure it was safe to enter.

"We were that much of a threat?"

"No, you interrupted my mealtime."

"Oh, well… that's okay then… I guess."

Aris checked the time readout on the console and shrugged, settling back in his pilot's seat. "A good twenty minutes should do it."

Sam didn't agree. "What about the colonel and Teal'c? A dose that high might compromise their breathing."

"You two lived. They'll be fine. Besides, the only welfare I'm interested in right now is the Goa'uld's."

"Right. Pay day." Daniel eased himself into the co-pilot's chair Sam had just vacated. "What about us? Are those bounties still good enough to make it worth your while turning us in?"

Aris smiled smugly as he turned in his chair to face Daniel. "The bounty on you alone, Doctor Jackson, would set me up for life and allow me to buy a big enough army to free my planet from slavery."

"Oh, well," Daniel stammered, a little shocked and confused. "That's good… I think."

"Only if you value your own self-importance. Anubis wants to get his hands on you and is prepared to pay a high price for the privilege, but no one is willing to bring you in."

"Why?"

"You have to ask?"

"I thought I just did."

"Let's just say the news of your rise to ascension is still the talk of the galaxy, and even bounty hunters have morals."

~oOo~

"Jack!"

He'd gone to hell and Daniel had obviously hitched a ride. It was the only semi-lucid explanation Jack could come up with for having a brain-bleeder of a headache and Daniel yelling at him at the same time.

"Come on, Jack."

"Daniel," he hissed through clenched teeth, not even daring to open his eyes. "I swear to god, if you don't shut up…" Jack tried to roll onto his side away from Daniel, but found his movement impeded by a hand to his shoulder. Testing his awareness, he opened one eye and squinted up at a blurry gold ceiling and the hazy outline of his teammate. "Oh, god."

"Nope, just me." Daniel grabbed him by the arm and started to pull him forward. "Think you can sit up now?"

"Tell me we haven't just traded one snake for another. This is a cargo ship, right?"

"Ah, yeah… and no. I mean, it's a cargo ship, but the only Goa'uld in the room is the one we ringed up with you… plus bits and pieces of her guards. Thanks for that, by the way."

Jack eased himself upright and took in his surroundings. The cargo bay was empty save for one bound and gagged Goa'uld, sitting up against one of the bay supports and looking more than a little pissy.

"Thanks? Daniel, she was about half a second away from me never having to worry about erectile dysfunction again. You couldn't have waited a bit longer?"

"She was what?"

"You know…" Jack flicked his gaze to his crotch and then back up to Daniel. "The many wonders of the hand device."

"You're kidding me?"

"Would I kid?"

Daniel stole a quick glance at the trussed up Goa'uld and shrugged. "In Earth mythology, she was known as the Celtic goddess of love… among other things. I guess it makes sense that she'd want to enhance-"

"Aht!" Jack baulked, rising shakily to his feet. "We are not going to discuss enhancements in front of a snake. She's already got enough wacky ideas in that department."

"Even though she was the one doing the enhancing?"

"Not the point." Jack caught sight of Daniel's blood stained and burned shirt, and waved his hand at the damage. "What's with the…"

"It's nothing."

"Really? 'Cause it looks like you took a staff blast."

"Oh, I did."

"And you call that nothing?"

"I do when there's nothing we can do about it until we get home."

"Right. Where's Teal'c and Carter, and who do we have to thanks for this miraculous save?"

Daniel smiled tightly and tossed a thumbed over his shoulder towards the cockpit hatch. "They'd be riding shotgun with our hero."

"Tok'ra?"

"Ah, no."

"No? And yet not another snake?"

"Nope."

"Am I going to have to beat you to get an answer?"

"Does it involve unconsciousness?"

"It might. Why?"

"No reason."

~oOo~

"Well, looks who's decided to wake up and join the important people." The smile Aris offered Jack was less friendly and more condescending, with just a dash of amusement that made it all the way to his eyes.

"Oh, fer the love of… Daniel?"

Suspiciously enough, Daniel had made a beeline for the far side of the cockpit the moment the doors had opened. Taking the opportunity to be far out of Jack's long reach.

"Remember that beating I offered you?" Jack said, intending the comment for Daniel but never taking his eyes of Boch.

Daniel tucked his elbow into his side and took up the co-pilot's seat Sam vacated for him. "Vividly."

"Consider it a promise more than a threat."

"Come now, Colonel. Do you always thank your rescuers by threatening to beat them up?"

"No. Only Daniel." Jack didn't look amused. "So, which Goa'uld is going to have the pleasure of our company, or have you kicked the bounty hunting habit?"

Aris slumped back in his seat and crossed his arms in a scrutinizing manner. "The Goa'uld in the cargo bay wasn't a big enough clue for you or do you need me to submit a resume?"

"So rescuing us was?"

"My good fortune."

Hearing the smugness in Aris' tone, Jack planted his hands on his hip and took a defensive step forward. "Ah, here we go."

"Relax, Colonel. You'll be home in time to let the dog out. The asking price on your team isn't worth the effort of me trying to cash in on."

"That bad?" Jack tried to hide his disappointment.

"I'd get more trading low-grade naquadah."

"Slave market taken a downward trend?"

"Something like that." Aris cast a sideways glance at Daniel, who had his head tipped to one side and looked to be asleep. "Forgive me for considering my own petty needs, but I'll just drop you at the nearest Stargate. I'd rather not lose this ship and its cargo."

The End


End file.
